Chap. 198 Worried

Chap. 198 Worried

"They probably won't even remember me," Harve said, dejectedly.

The small pile of possessions the boy had accumulated was ready to be loaded onto Raventh.

From nothing, not even a cloth to hide his nakedness, the residents of Landing and Kahrain Steppe Weyrfolk had all pitched in to provide Harve everything he'd needed. The tanner had built custom boots for his feet, the woodworkers had helped him build a sea chest with his name etched in it, the tailors had taught him to harvest the tree wool (cotton), turn it into cloth and sewed the result into clothing.

The teen stood between K'ndar and F'mart, stroking Kenth, F'mart's bronze absentmindedly.

"Harve, you KNOW I contacted Nerat's Lord Holder. He was more than happy to accept you back. In fact, he insisted on it, saying "you dragonriders don't know how to properly care for a seaman, no matter how old he is.""

"That's not true, F'mart! They wouldn't mean it!!" Harve protested. "And you all have helped me so much!"

F'mart laughed. "He was teasing, Harve," he said.

K'ndar nodded. "It will be okay, Harve. I'm sure of it. Don't forget what our Weyrwoman said, about you always being welcome. I hope you do come back, the dragons insist you're a rider. They don't make mistakes."

Harve nodded. "I know. But, I can't help but be worried. That's what I feel."

"Then you're a lot stronger than I would be if I were you. I'd be scared, not just worried. Afraid," K'ndar said.

Harve met his eyes. "Please don't tell the weyrkids, but yes. Scared. I was just a kid when we left Nerat," he said, "and before that, we lived on the We're Here. Sometimes we'd be out to sea for seven-days I mean months," he said.

"It's okay to be scared of the unknown, Harve," F'mart said. "I remember the first time we flew to fight Thread, I was so sure I knew what I was doing that I did something stupid. I got cocky. I took a big risk. Only because Kenth was...is...smarter than me did we not get scored," he said.

"Really!" K'ndar said, feigning astonishment, "You'll have to tell me about it, someday," he smirked.

F'mart grinned at him over Harve's head. "I missed school for two days."

K'ndar grinned right back. "And cleaned latrines for a month?"

F'mart nodded.

You won't do that again Kenth said.

Zeta, Lindea's gold fire lizard, appeared and chirped to Siskin.

The blue fire lizard transmitted a view of the dining hall, now full of weyrfolk.

"We'll load Raventh and Kenth after the do that Hariko's planned for you," K'ndar said.

"What? What 'do'?" the boy asked.

K'ndar looked at him. "You don't think Hariko was going to let you leave without a proper send off, now do you?"

"Um....I didn't know," Harve said, confused.

"Come on, lad, it's all set and ready. Let's get some tucker in your tum before we fly," F'mart said.

It was, indeed, a do.

The dining hall had been decorated with banners that said, "Farewell, Harve, we'll miss you". Many of the weyrfolk were waiting for them. Most especially, the girls of the weyr were there, some with flowers, all of them fighting tears.

To include Glyena, K'ndar's sister.

She came running to give him a hug. She was followed by her foster sisters. Once she'd hugged K'ndar, Glyena joined the throng of girls who clustered around Harve. She looked enthralled. Her older sister, Petra, said to Harve, "I wish you were staying here, Harve, why do you have to leave?" Other's chimed in, with "Don't go, we'll miss you, you should stay here, everyone likes you!"

"Um...ummmm," was all the dumbstruck boy could say. He looked at K'ndar and F'mart for help.

Both men grinned and shrugged. "Oh, to have your troubles!" F'mart laughed, shaking his head.

Hariko came up, rescuing the boy with a "Harve, we've this big celebration meal, come now, let's get some food in you!"

F'mart caught K'ndar's eye and flicked his head to indicate they back off.

Bemused, K'ndar followed. He noticed a scattering of the boys of the Weyr, looking peeved.

"Look at the young bucks there on the edges, K'ndar," F'mart said, "all of 'em jealous of Harve."

K'ndar laughed, agreeing, but he was disturbed at his little sister's obvious infatuation with Harve. Well, she's almost ten, I guess, he thought, but the idea of his baby sister feeling like that for a boy? A male with testicles and the testosterone to drive them? Somehow that went against his heart. My sister? Having the hots for a teenage boy?

Why not? She's a female, he's a male. What's wrong with that? Raventh said.

Not my SISTER, she's just a baby!

No, she's not.

__________________________________________________________________________

They'd managed to load the dragons and actually take off without hurting any of the girls who'd crowded around their dragons.

Raventh bore Harve's belongings and Harve rode behind F'mart on Kenth. They circled on a thermal to gain height. He could hear the girls calling "Good bye!" below them, despite the wind in his ears.

He could hear Glyena's voice among them. His baby sister. Hot for Harve. It worried him, but he couldn't imagine how he could change it.

"Ready for between?" F'mart called, breaking through the unexpected fog in his mind. Come on, K'ndar, wake up. Nerat's dragon stones. Push them to Raventh. Wouldn't do to get lost!

"Aye!" K'ndar called back.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nerat was a total surprise to him.

The Hold was ostensibly a Sea Hold, but it was also a major provider of hardwoods. Beyond the livestock pastures, the rain forest rolled on and on, seeming forever. Unlike most of the other Pernese Holders, the Nerats had never doubted that Thread would return someday, and so were prepared when it did. Thus, their forests had survived and now that Thread was gone forever, they were planting more. For every tree they cut, they planted two, insuring their future.

A string of signal flags soared to the top of the mast on the high point of the Hold.

Looks like they have messages, or something, to take back, K'ndar thought.

But that many? And he couldn't read them. He'd never seen such flags.

As they circled, looking for the spot that most Holds of any size reserved for dragons, more banners unfurled, this time on the ground.

Below him was a large crowd of people. He could hear them cheering and shouting.

"Look!" Harve cried, "The signals! That's We're Here's signal! It's...it's a message for ME!!"

"What's it say?" K'ndar called.

"They read "Welcome home, We're Here! Dock immediately"!"

"Told you so," F'mart said.

__________________________________________________________________________

After far too much to eat, and far too many women kissing him and F'mart for 'saving our boy Harve', and Harve's grandmother wringing his hand, crying in gratitude, and grown men, hardened from years at sea or working in the forest, treating him as if he were a Weyrleader, and Harve's uncle, thanking him for rescuing at least one of his family, and several dangerous looking men, begging him to PLEASE tell them where that island is so they could go kill Shipfish, K'ndar wondered if they'd ever escape. F'mart was sitting with a pretty girl on either arm, inviting him to stay a while, won't you?

K'ndar wondered how he was going to disengage from the lovely girl who wanted to know everything about how he'd found Harve, could she pet Siskin, had he ever been on a ship, was he married? partnered?

Harve had to repeat virtually every step of the rescue at least twice. They insisted F'mart re-enact the fight with Shipfish. Raventh, a brown! landing in a clearing no wider than his wings! How clever Harve was, to use coconuts as fire bombs!

Nerat's Lord Holder, after a speech that was interrupted by cheers and roars of approval, gave each of them a medallion. "This medallion, sirs, guarantees you free passage on any ship from Nerat, at any time, from any port, should you ever need it, " he said. The crowd roared in agreement.

K'ndar blushed, not wanting to tell the man that he could never ride in a ship.

But finally, the celebration wound down and he managed to disengage from the young lady who insisted she, if he didn't have duty tomorrow, would be more than happy to entertain him.

He cast a questioning eye at F'mart. "I'm heading home, F'mart. Coming?"

F'mart smirked. "Um, no," he said. One of his female friends had left, but the other was firmly attached to his arm. "I don't have duty tomorrow. You see my problem, don't you?" he said, grinning.

K'ndar nodded, not surprised at all.

His ears welcomed the relief from the noisy hall as he made his way to the dragon meadow. 

Siskin sighed, happy to be away from all those people.

As he was harnessing Raventh, he heard Harve calling his name.

The boy ran up to him.

"You run like normal," K'ndar said.

Harve stopped and nodded. "Because of you, K'ndar. I don't know how to repay you for rescuing me. I will never, ever forget the clearing, when the sky suddenly went dark and I looked up and it was Raventh! It was like a dream come true! I don't know how to thank you enough. I wish there was something I could do, some way I could," he paused, dropping his eyes.

Then they met K'ndar's. "I feel as if you did all the giving and I did all the taking," he said, finally.

K'ndar put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Harve. Stop. I know. How could I NOT have rescued you? I'm certain, were it me needing rescuing, you would have done the same, yes?"

"Of course! But I feel as if, well I DO, owe you something. My life. You saved it, and I feel as if I need to repay you," he said.

"Harve," K'ndar said, realizing just how much was going to miss the boy, "You already have repaid me. You could have moaned in self pity, complained about how hard life was, how unfair. But you didn't. You worked hard to get back to where you are now. Look at you, running like you're supposed to!  Harve, Weyrleaders, like M'rvin and Siena...they don't insist you return just on account of because. They mean it. You impressed them, all of us, on your willingness to turn your hand to whatever you were asked. I've met plenty of kids your age who won't do a thing. Those types, we hope they leave.Those types usually end up holdless. You, I am certain, will never be without a Hold, or a Weyr, or whatever you do with your life.

If you really feel obligated, do what my mum always said, 'pay it forward'. That means, doing something right or kind for someone in need, without expectation of payment or even thanks. Just pay it forward. And don't forget, Harve. The dragons all say you're a dragonrider. Mirth says you must come to it on your own wings. If and when you are Searched, we'd be honored if you chose Kahrain for your Impression," he said.

Harve nodded, gulping. He reached for K'ndar's hand and shook it.

"I will," he said.Then he turned to pat Raventh on the foreleg. The brown rumbled, gently.

"I'm going to miss you, K'ndar, and all the folks at Kahrain," the boy said.

"I'll miss you too, Harve," K'ndar said, feeling his throat tighten with emotion. Siskin, on his shoulder, chittered softly.

Harve's eyes glistened. "And the dragons...I'm going to miss Raventh, and Kenth. Especially Kenth," he said. He walked over to the bronze. Kenth tilted his head, his eyes rolling a glowing blue.

"Kenth?" Harve asked.

The giant bronze lowered his head til his eyes were level with Harve's.

The boy put his arms around Kenth's warm, strong neck and hugged him, tightly, tightly.

"I'm going to miss you, Kenth. I love you," he said, his eyes closed.

Then they flew open in surprise.

I will miss you too, Harve. Don't forget to come back Kenth said.

Chap. 197 The Decision

 

Chap. 197 Decision

I wonder if I looked like that K'ndar said to Raventh.

Like what?

Like I was about to pass out from fear.

Afraid of an egg? Raventh snickered.

You laugh! But you were all nice and comfy in your egg. I was barefoot on those hot sands and was afraid I wouldn't impress.

Sitting in the gallery in the Queen's hatching chamber, K'ndar looked over the group of Candidates lining the hatching sands in a semi-circle. Behind them were their mentors and aides, the mentors holding platters of raw meat and the aides with tubs of oil for the soon to be emerging dragonets.

B'rant, the Weyrlingmaster, moved among them, encouraging some, patting others on the shoulder.

Behind them all were M'rvin and Siena, their weyrleaders.

The Candidates, barefoot and clad in plain white robes, looked uncomfortable and anxious. They unconsciously shifted from foot to foot. The sands were hot. K'ndar still couldn't understand why they weren't allowed to wear shoes. It had 'always been done that way," he'd heard more than once. It made no sense other than the eggs needed that heat to mature.

For over a thousand years, no candidate had even been allowed to see the eggs until just before hatching. That led to appalling injuries and once in a while, even an accidental death, from a ravenous and virtually mindless dragnet mauling a terrified teen. But, when there was only one weyr of dragons left after a long Interval, Benden's leaders decided to break with tradition by allowing Candidates to touch and become accustomed to the eggs long before they hatched.

He reflected on how just being among the eggs had gone a long way towards easing his fears when he was a Candidate. Still-why no shoes? Hmmm. Maybe having the barefoot Candidates on the just-below-injury temperature hot sands was to keep them from fainting in fear.

Despite their mentors and B'rant, the Weyrlingmasters' calming presence, the Candidates all looked terrified.

Mirth, the weyr's queen dragon, was curled up like a great cat, her head almost reaching the ceiling of the cavern. A single ray of sunlight pouring in from overhead turned the queen a molten gold and her eggs iridescent. Her eyes were a pensive orange as she regarded the candidates.

All of the weyr's dragons, save those on watch duty, were perched on the plateau of the weyr, overlooking the hatching cavern. Many were on their weyr ledges. They were humming, audibly, and, far too low in register for human ears, crooning subsonicly. K'ndar could feel the subsonics in his bones.

You're singing to the eggs, aren't you?

Yes. It's to tell the dragonets that it's safe to hatch, time to come out and meet your weyrmate. And it's fun. We are all happy that soon there will be more dragons Raventh said.

He was amazed all over again at how big queens got. Mirth was from the clutch just before Raventh's. She had never reached the size of Elanath, Raven's dam. He remembered how big Elenath had been. Even so, he thought, I'm glad I'm not a girl, it takes all day to oil a queen.

Or a bronze. Good thing I'm a brown!

It IS. The best of all Pern!

Mirth's sole queen egg was just ahead of her forefeet. She looked at the girls among the Candidates with what seemed to be disdain.

Mirth says none of the girls are worthy.

Does she realize what happens if NO one impresses the queen egg?

Of course. Don't worry. All queen dragons think that about their eggs.

"I wonder if I looked like that," he repeated, this time aloud.

"Like what?" said C'val. The blue rider was sitting next to K'ndar. Sinala, his partner sat on his other side.

"Like a wherry who sees a flight of dragons?" she said.

"More like a wherry about to go down a dragon's throat," K'ndar said.

The two nodded in agreement.

"I know that's how I felt when I first saw the eggs. I got used to it, I guess, when B'rant allowed us to move among them and touch them. But it was an entirely different thing when you saw them rocking," said Sinala. "That's when I knew there was something inside that might just ignore me. I knew I'd be passed over. I just knew it," she sighed.

"But Sinith knew better, didn't she?" C'val said, hugging his partner. "I remember when you both were in that self same spot as those on the sands. You both looked as if you felt you had no business being there," he said.

"Exactly!" K'ndar said.

C'val smiled. "I knew better. My Rastabenth hasn't been wrong yet, not about Candidates, not on Search. He knows," C'val said.

"I was afraid. I was afraid of not Impressing, I was afraid of Impressing! Isn't that odd?" K'ndar said, a bit too loudly. Someone turned around to face him, shushing him.

K'ndar resented it for a moment, as he could easily hear the entire audience was talking. But, he had to admit, in softer voices. He forcibly lowered his volume.

I didn't know what the world was like, I'd been in the egg. I remember how bright the world was Raventh said. I'm glad we Impressed

K'ndar smiled. I am, too. I can't imagine a life without you.

"You aren't mentoring, this time?" he asked C'val.

"No, my friend. B'rant chooses mentors based on the personalities of the Candidate. It's not always the Searcher who actually finds the candidate. You were unusual in that I was not only your Searcher, but assigned as your mentor as well. B'rant is a shrewd judge of character," the blue rider said.

K'ndar nodded. "I'm glad he did. I trusted you, you were always willing to steer me right."

C'val nodded in thanks. "You were easy, K'ndar. Easy. I never had a bit of trouble from you. Not like J'rath, who mentored F'mart. That boy! Whew, he was a handful."

"Not just with J'rath, C'val, F'mart was a pain in the arse to everyone," Sinala said. "I loathed him, the only one of my classmates that I literally despised. He was a bully," she said.

"And yet, look, he's down there in front of us, on the front row, with Harve. That boy you rescued, K'ndar? From everything I've seen, F'mart has changed. A lot. Who would have thought F'mart had the maturity to actually serve as a foster?" C'val said.

"Officially?" K'ndar asked. Now that Sinala had pointed them out, he could see the back of F'mart and Harve's heads. He was certain F'mart had insisted on the boy witnessing a hatching. Of course, virtually every dragonrider of the weyr was here. It was fairly common knowledge that the dragons believed Harve would be a dragonrider when he came of Candidate age.

Sinala nodded. "Pretty much 'officially'. The boy follows F'mart wherever he goes. It's changed them both. For the better, in F'mart's case."

"No doubt," K'ndar said.

I hadn't recognized the boy, he thought, he's put on weight, gotten taller and kept his hair short. I still remember how long his hair was when we rescued him. Harve had gone years without a haircut.

Or a bath. He stunk. Why didn't he bathe in the sea?

Probably because his legs were chained. That, and it's how a monster such as Shipfish controls another person. It's how to keep someone obedient. You take away necessary things, pleasurable things, like bathing, as a way of controlling someone else's mind. You only allow them such a thing as a 'reward' for tolerating the monster's abuse. Harve's mind was chained just a securely as his legs.

How do you know this?

Look into my mind and see my sire. He was cruel. He would beat me. He blamed me and my brothers for everything that he did wrong.  He kept things from me in order to keep me obedient. I hated him. I was unhappy.

You're happy, now.

I am. In all ways.

"I don't believe any dragonrider on Pern will ever forget the day they Impressed," Sinala said, musing on her own experience. "Sinith was, oh what am I saying, Sinith IS the most beautiful dragon on Pern," she sighed.

"Other than Raventh," K'ndar responded, playing the old game that all dragonriders did at one time or another.

"Ssssssh," said the woman in front of K'ndar, turning to shush them again. The three dragonriders looked bemused, but obeyed.

The eggs began to rock. The subsonic crooning from the expectant dragons increased in intensity, thrumming his bones. Their audible humming had a soporific effect, except on the nervous Candidates. He felt the familiar hazy feeling. It was a comforting sound, like that of a cats purr, making him feel as if he was safe in his bunk, about to fall asleep. How could you fear anything, when an entire weyr of dragons was watching over your birth?

A loud 'crack' announced the beginning of the Hatch.

________________________________________________________________________

He woke as if from a dreamy half sleep, as the dragon's 'singing' had stopped. Mirth roused herself and shuffled out the cavern entrance.

The sands were littered with broken egg shells. The new Weyrlings were slowly being herded off the sands, stuffing their damp, wobbling dragonets with meat and exalting in the incredible feeling of impression.

The clapping and cheering had subsided, and the audience of weyrfolk and visiting families began to make its way out of the gallery.

"Coming to the feast, K'ndar?" C'val asked.

"Shortly," K'ndar said, unable to tear his eyes from the sands. The floor of the cavern was littered with broken shells-and some broken hearts. Half a dozen candidates were left, dragonless.

It's like the end of a horse race, K'ndar thought, the winner taking a victory lap and the losers heading back to their stable for a bath and a good feed. It's all over so fast, too soon, after months of preparation and expectation. And now, as if it never happened, everyone who's not actively assisting the Weyrlings will head to the dining hall for Hariko's not to be missed celebratory feasts.

Leaving behind the unchosen.

Their mentors standing quietly behind them, some of the candidates stood frozen in disbelief. Their arms hanging by their sides, they had even stopped shifting their feet, unable to comprehend the concept of rejection.

One boy began to check under each large segment of egg shell, as if hoping that somehow, a dragonet was hiding underneath. A girl began to weep softly, the awful feeling that she'd not Impressed beginning to clear the fog in her brain.

The visiting families of the unimpressed candidates were silent and morose. Save for one, a little girl, who plaintively asked,"why is he still there, where is his dragon?"

The candidates mentors gently and sympathetically shepherded them off the sands. Siena, their Weyrwoman, was waiting. She spoke gently to each unchosen candidate. It was always a painful thing to not Impress.

"I'm sorry you didn't impress, but it happens. Many of our dragonriders didn't impress the first time. I didn't impress until my third hatching," K'ndar heard her say. "You're still considered a candidate, and you are welcome to stay here at the weyr till the next clutch."

He knew that, had he not Impressed, her words would have not eased the emotional upheaval he undoubtedly would have felt, no matter how heartfelt they were.

F'mart and Harve had made no move to leave.

The boy had grown so tall as to meet him eye to eye. He smiled and said, "Hello, K'ndar!"

"Hello, Harve! F'mart, I hear your Harve's foster?" K'ndar said.

The bronze rider grinned. "Who would have thought, what? But aye, he's in with me. I wanted him to witness a hatching, seeing as to how, in, what, two years? he'll be old enough to impress," F'mart said.

The boy shook his head, as if chasing off an annoying insect.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Harve," F'mart said. "Kenth and other dragons are insisting you'll make a great dragonrider."

"Ummmmmmmmm," Harve said, looking uncomfortable, "I'm not so sure."

"Nonsense, lad, I'm certain of it," F'mart said. "You'll impress a bronze, sure as the sunrise."

Siena approached them. They paid their respects to her.

"You're 14, yes?" she asked the boy. "In two years, I'll be seeing you on the sands, I hope!" she said, brightly.

Harve paused, and K'ndar could see he had made a momentous decision.Here it comes, he thought.

"Begging your pardon, ma'am, but...no."

The three dragonriders looked at the boy, stunned.

"Meaning?" Siena said after several moments.

Harve cleared his throat, nervously.

"Ma'am, I was so very lucky have been rescued by K'ndar, and F'mart. And B'rost and D'mitran. My life on the island was not living, it was surviving. It was worse than being dead. I swear I thought of committing suicide, thinking I'd never be free. Coming here, and with F'mart helping me every day, every day! was like being, well, hatched. Or being reborn? Before the shipwreck, all I knew was fishing and being a seaman. Here, I've been in school, I've learned so much! This was all so new, so different," he said. "For a long time I was afraid that someone would say, he's not weyrbred, chase him off."

The three began to protest, but he cut them off.

"I know! I know now, that you'd never do that," he said. He heaved a great sigh.

"I don't know the words, but if it hadn't been for F'mart, taking me in like I was a brother, I don't know what I would have done. You all, here at Kahrain Steppe, have become like family to me. A second family," he said, and his face twisted for just a moment.

F'mart looked serious. "Harve, you ARE my brother. Blood doesn't matter here," he said. He was beginning to see what Siena and K'ndar already had picked up.

"We are happy you're here, Harve. You are one of us, you have a home here. I am certain that when you're of age, you'll impress a dragon, don't you worry," Siena said.

Harve shook his head again.

"That's just it, ma'am. I don't...I don't know how to say this but I have a feeling I will never impress. Especially after seeing this hatching. It's not because of anything or anybody here, at Kahrain. I have friends here, I got better, the healers! They gave me my legs back. I can run like anybody, now. I'm strong. I'm happy. But ma'am, I think that I want to go back to Nerat. F'mart told me he immediately informed Nerat's Lord Holder that I was alive. But I don't know whether I still have family there. Is my grandmum still alive? Maybe some are there who will remember my mum and dad? My ship, the We're Here? Everyone knew her. They knew us, her crew, they knew ME," he said, almost in protest.

The three riders were speechless.

"I've been thinking about this a long time. I think I want to go ...'home', this is home, yes, but my home port is Nerat. Is that..is that wrong? I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm not! I don't know how much longer Shipfish would have let me live. He was a murderer and I wish him nothing but pain and suffering, like he did to my family," he said. "You all saved my life. F'mart returned my will to live. Everyone here has been so good to me, so kind. I think Hariko tried to stuff me to my ears. Every time she sees me it's "eat laddie eat, I can still see your ribs!!"" he said, mimicking their headwoman.

They laughed. He'd nailed Hariko perfectly.

F'mart suddenly sobered. Harve? Leave? How is it I grew to love this kid? Me? Footloose F'mart?

"Harve..."

No his bronze, Kenth said, his mind is made up. Let him fly.

The boy looked at F'mart, the man who'd brought him back from the abyss. He rubbed away the tears that had, unbidden, filled his eyes.

"I'm...F'mart, I'm sorry. It's not you. No! But I have this thing in my head, that keeps saying, come home, Harve, come home. I...want to."

Their hearts were breaking.

He is right, I think. The Searchers all tagged him as a rider. But there is no forcing an Impression. My hatchlings just know who is right for them. If it's meant for him to be a dragonrider, he'll return. For now, I think he should go back to where he was hatched Mirth said to her rider.

I hate to lose him. He's proven such an asset. The lad takes on anything given him, does it right and does it with a grin. That, and all the little girls are just crazy about him.

Mirth laughed. He'll be back. He's a dragonrider. He just has to come to it on his own wings.

Siena made a mental shrug, accepting the inevitable.

"Harve, you left your chains on the beach of that island. No one holds you here," she said, "I can understand your feelings, I was ship bred, too. Let any of my dragonriders know when you want to go home, and you will be on your way," she said. "But I want you to remember this: you will always be welcome here, no matter who is Weyrleader. I promise."

"Me, too," K'ndar and F'mart chimed.

Blogger has changed the editor, against my wishes

 To my readers:

Yes, it looks different. Google has made changes to Blogger for the sake of making changes. I don't like it. I am now unable to compose in HTML, which, while I don't really know squat about HTML, also prevents snippets of 'code' being inserted that screw things up.

I am not happy with it, but I am just one little atom in the cosmos of the internet and cannot change it. 

I will continue to write. Hopefully Google will come to it's senses...although I doubt it...and realize that bloggers do not compose on their smart phones. The only thing that makes me feel a little better about it is word press did the same thing to its customers years ago. 

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Khutulan

Chap. 196 The Puzzle

 

Chap. 196 The Puzzle

He'd spent most of the evening updating his field notebooks and copying them, neatly, into blank ones that he'd eventually turn into Landing. He'd discovered an odd fact of re-drawing something from his original sketches. They never looked quite the same. It bothered him that he'd remember seeing something on the item he'd sketched, but not seeing it in his notebook. I'm still so scatterbrained, sometimes, why can't I discipline myself?

Admonishing himself, he wrote "Focus and Accuracy!" in big letters on the first page. Maybe this would help him do better? But he never went to the first page of the notebook, once he'd written his and Raventh's name on it.

He always vowed to go back and look at the item again...but he never did. Time and duty didn't always allow it. And often the item was biological, meaning it moved or died.

Rendel, the weyr's Master Harper and librarian, entered with a basket of fresh glows.

"Working late tonight, K'ndar?" he asked. He looked weary.

K'ndar looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was, indeed, quite late.

He got up hurriedly, feeling guilty at keeping the harper up.

"I'm sorry, Rendel, I got so involved with researching on the datalink, I completely lost track of time," he said. He gathered his materials. "The light is so much better here than in my weyr," he explained.

He reached to turn off the datalink.

Rendel put his hand over it to stop him.

"It's okay, K'ndar. I know the feeling. You're on the hunt for something, and you don't want to give it up just when you think you're about to find it," he said, smiling.

"It shows? You're right. But still, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't keep you up. And I have duty tomorrow, so I should head for bed. It's just..." he struggled to find the words.

"I can see it on your face. What is it that has you so deeply puzzled?" he said.

Pulling up a chair, he bade K'ndar sit back down. K'ndar sighed. How to explain?

"I see the Honshu Murals on the datalink. Did you go see them?" the Harper said.

"I did! I wanted to spend most of the day with them but kept getting interrupted. The kid who was my 'docent' wanted nothing to do with me, just wanted to rush me through, then a field trip of kids, little ones, came in, and then Rondair, you remember Rondair? She's at Honshu, now, she came in and we spent a good part of the day talking."

Rendel smiled gently. "I do remember Rondair, nice girl," he said.

"Aye. I saw the shuttle, too. There was something about it that is just driving me crazy, my brain is shouting something about it but refuses to come out and say why! I keep going over the same thought process over and over and it Just Won't Come out," he said, exasperated.

Rendel chuckled. "There's not a Harper on the planet who's not experienced the same thing. Creativity isn't as easy as one would think! Or, worse,your memory tricks you. You find yourself composing a song, thinking it's original, only to be caught up short by someone else, saying, no, that's a children's song from umptyhundred years ago. Even worse, you'll hear a song being played or sung, and at first, it's quite nice. Your brain latches onto it and instead of playing the entire song, it just plays the same few chords, over and over and OVER..... Sometimes they go on in my mind for DAYS. And often, it's not something I like, it's a banal chord but it's infectious. You get so sick of it! But your brain doesn't care, I've yet to find a way to get it out of my head. Sometimes I wonder if our brains aren't out to drive us insane!"

K'ndar laughed.

"When I am stuck on something like that, I find that a good shower..or even rain..on my head makes it come out. I get my best ideas in the shower," the harper said.

"I'll try it..I need one anyway, then head for bed. Thank you and good night, sir," he said.

It didn't work.

He paced his weyr, glad that the stone floors didn't make enough noise to keep his neighbors awake. Siskin watched, his half shut eyes glowing in the dim light of the weyr.

Will you please stop thinking, I have to get some sleep Raventh said, irked. He was curled up on his couch.

I'm sorry, but I just can't sleep. He pushed his way past the curtain that separated the two sleeping chambers.

After the hurricane, he'd moved into this larger weyr to accomadate Raventh's growth. It gave him a view of the ocean.

He could hear the surf, soft and gentle in the night. There was no bioluminescent bloom tonight. He had only seen it once and was still awed by it.

It being a warm night, Raventh's couch had been left open to the night sky. He remembered the girl at Honshu, saying she knew all the names of the stars. The stars! They blazed in the sky, scattered like jewels carelessly thrown across a background of deep black velvet. He picked out the familiar constellations. Stepping out onto the ledge, he looked overhead to see the double star system overhead. He could never remember the stars names, but they were a beacon to a night traveler, always directly over head.

Raventh'sbulk in the darkness was reassuring. He put his arms around the brown's warm neck and nestled his head under the great jaw. He heard more than saw the ocean. Far out to sea, he imagined he could see a faint light of a fishing ship. Or maybe it was one of the planets, rising. I must bend to my astronomy, he thought.

Why is your brain so busy?

It's been doing this since I saw the murals at Honshu today. The one that keeps coming back if of the shuttle. They were the machines that brought humans and everything else from the starships to Pern. It's been in my mind ever since, something we've seen that's related to the shuttle, but I cannot remember when or where or what!!

Look in your notebooks?

He did a mental forehead slap.

You don't have to say thank you.

Still, I will. You are smarter than me.

Of course. I'm Raventh!!

They laughed. Siskin chittered, sleepily. He, at least, was able to tone down K'ndar's thoughts.

K'ndar uncovered several glows and took down half a dozen of his notebooks. I am going to have to find more room for them, he thought. Maybe, maybe I can ask to have a beach weyr built, and then I'll have plenty of shelf space.

I'd like that. I liked being able to go out right into the sea. But I do like not having to leap to get airborne. I just step out into space and I'm flying.

Now sleep tugged at his mind, but he pushed it aside. No, shaff it, you're going to keep me running in circles trying to get that thought out, you're going to stay awake until I find it, he said to his brain.

He leafed through each notebook. Gads, my writing is getting worse. FOCUS AND ACCURACY, K'ndar, even for my keepers!

His mind tried to distract him, now definitely wanting to shut down for the night.

He shook his head and kept leafing.

I wonder if I'll even recognize it when I find it. IF I find it...

I think I know. The fox? On Western? That's what I see in your quiet mind, the one that doesn't talk.

"YES!" he shouted, as the lurking thought was exposed. Oops, I hope I didn't wake anybody up...

You did, but he isn't sure why he's awake. Be quiet!

He quickly opened the notebook containing his sketches and notes on the survey of Western Continent.

Yes. The caisson. The huge manmade structure that he'd sketched, and then the flying fox ran past him and took a flying leap from it.

The CAISSON. Yes, his mind said, the caisson.

He hadn't sketched the shuttle at Honshu. But at the moment, it was still fresh in his mind.

The shuttle! It was big and heavy. Something that heavy probably needed a solid surface. Did it? He remembered reading that several had toppled at Landing during the earthquakes that heralded the volcanic eruption.That was at the very beginning of Pern's settlement. 

The caisson. The team had scratched their head in bewilderment at what could it be used for in that remote spot. High up on the northern side of Western, it was perched atop the sheer cliff at the closest spot to the southern half of the continent. They'd thought that perhaps it was meant to be the footing for a bridge across the chasm, but no. There was no caisson on the opposite side of the strait. And it couldn't have been for a wind turbine. The winds through that gorge were far too fast and turbulent for a turbine OR a bridge.

It was a solid pad for the shuttle, he thought. But why on Western? His sketch...fortunately he'd measured it...indicated it was probably large and solid enough to support the weight of a fully loaded shuttle. But, there was NOTHING around it, nothing to indicate humans had ever been there. Why build a landing pad in the middle of the wilderness?

He heaved a sigh of relief. His brain had stopped nagging him.

Thank you, Raventh, you are right. The caisson is a landing site for a shuttle! That's the only thing that makes sense.

Overlooking the straits? Where the wind was so strong the fire lizards couldn't fly in it?

Yes. We thought it was for a bridge. But it's for a shuttle! But why were they THERE?

That was before dragons, I think.

If I'm right, it was. They still had use of the shuttles. I'm such a dumbskull! I had forgotten all about it. I even wrote a note to myself, 'what is this for'? Bridge? Wind turbine?'

This is good. Now stop thinking and go to sleep. Even if you don't need it, I do, as does Siskin. Go TO BED

He did.

 

Citation: 

 Chap. 122 "The Surprise on the Strait"

Chap. 195 The Shuttle

 

Chap. 195 The Shuttle

There was nothing else like it on Pern.

The shuttle Eujisan was bathed in the subdued light entering via the cavern entrance.

K'ndar's docent, this time a teenage girl, stood by respectfully, giving him all the time he needed to just stare at the machine.

He walked around it, noting how high it was. Now he understood the perspective seen in the murals. A ramp lowered from its belly to allow one access. It was about 18 meters long, he judged, and half that wide. There were no windows other than the cupola atop it, where, he assumed, the pilot sat.

"What made it go? It had 'fuel'? he asked.

The girl nodded. "It had two means of propulsion. One was something called a 'ramjet'. Once the shuttle left the starship, it fell to Pern until it reached atmosphere. Then they started the ramjet to maneuver in the air and land. It was used only in atmosphere. It burned oxygen and propelled the shuttle by squeezing air down a funnel. I'm sorry, but I have a hard time understanding it. The other fuel was some sort of mineral that's 'radioactive'. That's something I'm not to sure how to explain, either. There's a part of the craft, inside, that has heavy metal surrounding it. You can't get to it and there are signs that say "danger" around it. It used the radioactive fuel to take off and head back to space, and to maneuver while in space. We're warned to avoid certain areas of the shuttle due to 'radioactive' exposure," she said. "I'm sorry, but that's the extent of my knowledge. You're the first person to ever ask me how it moved," she said.

K'ndar smiled. She was the complete antithesis of his earlier docent.

The ramp beckoned.

"Can I go in it?"

The girl smiled. "Yes, as long as you don't touch anything," she said. "Follow me," and she led the way up the ramp.

It smelled ancient. It was a mix of technology that was so far beyond his experience that he couldn't even begin to describe it, and things like a chair, that was familiar.

It was largely empty.

"This is the main hold," the girl said. The metal floor and ceiling had hooks and eyes everywhere. Along the sides were vertical tubes, with large windows. A ramp, smaller than the one reaching the floor, led up to the cupola he'd seen outside the shuttle.

"What are all these attachments for?" he asked.

"When the settlers started moving stuff down to the planet, they would tie the things in place. Have you ever been on a ship?"

He looked at her, for a brief moment wondering if his reputation as the Dragonrider Who Got Seasick On The Dock had preceded him. Mentally shrugging, he decided he didn't care.

"Only once. I was at the dock in Tillek Sea Hold. I got on a ship and it hadn't even left the dock when I got seasick," he admitted.

She bit her lip, then let the laugh out. "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but.."

"I know. It's okay. I just wondered how you knew?"

She shook her head. "I didn't. But I think I know the feeling. I rode on a dragon, once. I got 'airsick'. I'd just eaten lunch? I'll never do that again, so don't bother Searching me, I'll never be a dragonrider," she said.

"Airsick! I never heard of such a thing!" he said, laughing, " but I have an idea of how it felt. Dragons-especially the blues can be pretty agile in midair," he said.

"It was a blue," she said. "And I think it knew I was afraid, or it was showing off. It went so fast and made some moves that left my stomach behind. When it caught up...it didn't quite stop where it should have," she said, sheepishly. "Anyway, these attachments were to lash things down, secure them so they wouldn't shift around and hurt someone. Just like on a ship, you have to tie things down so they won't move," she said, " and of course, in space, things are weightless, so they float around."

"That makes sense," he said. He wondered what weightlessness was like. "What are these tubes for?" he asked. They looked like thermoses.

"We think they had harnesses in them. Some had tables and could be turned horizontally. We think people were sealed into the tubes for the ride down from the starship. They were pressurized, meaning they had air in them when this main hold here had none. They wouldn't always put air in the entire hold, here, because most things, like machines, didn't need it. They'd only put oxygen in the tubes. Do you want to go into one?"

He hesitated.

"We have one we let people go inside to see how it felt," she said, and he felt a sudden embarrassment, looking cowardly in front of a teenage girl.

"Um..."

"Don't worry, I'll be right here," she encouraged.

"Okay," he said. She led the way to one and opened the door. "Step inside and turn around, there's no harness, of course, but still, just stand up straight," she said.

He stepped into it, gingerly, and turned around. She gently shut the door and he felt the air pressure change. He heard her dog the lock and suddenly felt a thrill of fear grasp his heart.

The walls of the tube seemed to shrink to his skin. Suddenly his lungs felt as if there was no air.  Too close! Panicking, he shouted, "Let me out!!"

She saw his face change and immediately opened the door. He jumped out, his heart thundering in his chest.

"What, what..." he gasped. Her eyes were round in dismay.

"Are you okay?"

"I..I think so. What was that? I've never felt anything like it," he said.

"I don't remember the scientific word for it, but it's 'fear of being in enclosed spaces'. You're not the only one to feel it, it's just I've never personally had it happen on my shift. I'm sorry, will you be okay?"

His heart slowed.

What was that, are you hurt? Raventh asked, his voice tinged with concern.

No, just...scared. I'm alright now, don't worry.

Don't go in there again. Siskin is upset. Should I send him?

No

Too late

Siskin appeared from between, and dove for his shoulder. He wheeped.

"Oh, a fire lizard! He's so pretty! Is he..his eyes are orange, is he angry?"

K'ndar reached up to stroke Siskin's head to hide the shaking of his hand. He'd never been so frightened of something so insignificant in his life.

"He's not angry, he's worried. He and my dragon caught my f..fear, and reacted," he said.

"Hmmm. I don't know much about fire lizards. Oh, his eyes are changing to green now," she said.

"He's calming down, now that he's with me," he said, "Although his tail is so tight around my neck,  he might just throttle me." Siskin chipped, and loosened his tail. He pushed calming thoughts to the lizard.

The girl saw the exchange in his glazed eye.

"They're really intelligent, aren't they?" she said.

"Oh, lass, they most certainly are. Raventh, my dragon, gets smarter every day. Siskin, here, is smart, too, but he can't communicate like a big dragon can. I could go on, but I'd like to continue, please?"

"Certainly. Want to see the control pod?"

"Of course," he said, "unless it's like that tube."

She laughed. "No, it's not. Trust me."

The control room had a 360 ° view from the top of the craft. The top of the shuttle bristled with antennas, handholds, anchor points, parabolic dishes and other protuberances that meant nothing to him. Conveniently, there were large metal mirrors showing the entire ship below on the outside.

"This was the control room," she said. "The pilots...the people who made this thing go, sat in chairs, but they've since deteriorated and now all that's left is these metal frames. See these arms? Those flat panels with buttons at the front ends, we think those were used to make adjustments to the 'attitude' of the craft while it was flying. That bank of panels in front are computers. Off to the side, that's the navigation bay. Because there's no power to the craft, I can't show you how they worked," she said.

"This wasn't the same thing as a 'sled', is it?"

"Oh, no. If you get a chance to look at the murals, you'll see the sleds pictured," she said.

Yeah, I wish I'd been able to. I'll definitely call them up on the datalink, now, he thought.

"The sleds were smaller machines that people used to move around here on Pern. The sleds couldn't go into space, not like this shuttle," she said.

"The word on the side, "Eujisan"? Is that this things name?"

"Yes. Each starship had three, maybe four shuttles. This one came from the Yokohama, along with two others, the Moth and the Mayfly. One of the pilots, Nabol, tried to go to the Red Star in the Moth, we don't know if he actually got there or not. It crashed somewhere in the ocean when he re-entered Pern airspace. No one knows what happened to the other shuttles, but this one, the Eujisan, was left here. I like to think they left it to remind us of their journey here. Or, maybe, just to honor the vehicles, if that doesn't sound too strange," she said.

"Not at all! If they were like our seafarers, ships always have names, and their crew considers their ship to be a member of the family," K'ndar said, only half listening. Once again, there was something tingling in the depths of his mind, something about the shuttle.

"The shuttles did exactly that: shuttle people and equipment from the starships to Pern. They gutted-the term they used was 'cannibalize'-the Bahrain and the Buenos Aires (she pronounced it 'byoonosairs') and we know what became of those two starships," she said.

"Didn't Aivas decide to crash them into the sun?" he asked, his memory fuzzy.

"Yes. Aivas said he'd detected that the orbits of the two were deteriorating and the ships would eventually crash into Pern, so they were sent into the sun," she said. She looked unhappy.

"How did they do that without engines?"

She was stumped.

"I don't know. There's so much we don't know, the history is so fragmented," she said.

He nodded. "Thank you. I must say you're a far better docent than that kid I had in the mural hall," he said.

She brightened, and rolled her eyes. "That's Sima. He's spoiled rotten by his mum, doesn't want to work but has finally been convinced that if he doesn't, he's going to have to leave. Just like any other Weyr or Hold, you have to earn your keep here at Honshu," she said.

Once again, he wondered what craft or skill he could perform that would justify his being fed and housed at Kahrain. For the moment he was kept busy 'transporting', as D'mitran had dejectedly called it, but he wondered how long that would last. Especially as Kahrain was expecting a new Weyrling class to begin in the very near future, when Mirth's eggs hatched.

One of the advantages he'd appreciated was the relative paucity of adult dragonriders at Kahrain Steppe. So many had left, to include several of his classmates, some of whom had gravitated to Honshu. It resulted in Kahrain's dragonriders being tasked with the traditional jobs and missions that only a dragonrider could perform, leaving the many other 'menial' or physical tasks and jobs to the landsmen.

The thought worried him. He was a 'nomad', as the kids called it, a wanderer who didn't have to worry about where he was going to sleep tonight. He was someone who was able to wander and do interesting things, like survey the vast unknown that was Southern Continent, or go exploring. But for skills? Other than the everyday skills he'd learned as a child or as a Weyrling: how to cook, how to repair clothing, how to foal out a mare, how to dig a well, how to clean a latrine; his skills seemed embarrassingly few. He could draw, and make good notes. He could rope a running bull from horseback, being a horseman from birth. He could make pretty things out of horsehair. Other than that, what skills did he have?

"Seen enough?" she asked, forcing his thoughts back to the present.

The shuttle didn't hold the same level of fascination for him that the murals had inspired, and now he didn't have that much time left before he had to return to Kahrain. Chatting with Rondair had taken up much of the day.

"I think so," he said, and followed her down the ramp.

The pinging in his mind grew louder, but obstinately refused to explain itself.

He turned to look at the shuttle, wondering how it landed.

"I'd like to see the...um, the feet?"

" 'Landing gear' " she said. They were eight pairs of flat runners. "Right now, the landing gear is fairly low, but these legs, here? They rise up to accommodate tall cargo. The floor of the hold drops down, they put the cargo on the bed and up it went, woosh! into the main hold," she explained.

"Clever," he thought, but the reason, oh, the plagueing tingle, was right there in his mind. He looked hard at the landing gear. He just about had it....

The thought vanished. "ARRRRRRRRRRRG!" he shouted, wanting to bludgeon his head.

"What!!!!" The girl cried, alarmed.

"I keep trying to remember something, but every time I just about have it, it vanishes. It drives me crazy! It's been bothering me all day. Sometimes I wish I could take my brain out my head and give it a hearty slap," he sighed.

"I do that, sometimes. Especially when I think of how Aivas cheated us," she said, frowning.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, shocked. "You're not an Abominator, are you?"

"Oh, stars no. Just the opposite," she said.

"Then you mean what?"

She looked at him.

"I mean, Aivas cheated us. How could he do so unknowingly? He had the three engines removed from the starships and dropped them on the Red Star, and they blew up and pushed it just enough to stop thread from falling on Pern. That's the good part of his plan. There's no more thread, ever. But why THREE engines? Why did he have the Yokohama's engine blown up, too?"

He'd never heard such a question, or even the concept.

"I don't know, I don't. Maybe two engines wasn't enough. Why is that such a bad thing?"

"This shuttle. I want to fly it. It can still go, its radioactive fuel lasts for thousands of years, I'm told. And the 'ramjet' is mechanical. I am convinced there's something in the database that teaches one how to pilot it. Then I want to go to the Yokohama and learn how to pilot her," she said.

His jaw dropped.

"Wow. That's amazing," he said, fumbling for the right word.

She shook her head. "No one understands me," she complained, "Mum thinks I'm crazy. "Why can't you just be normal, like your sister?" she says. I AM normal. I just dream of the stars, all the time," she said. "It's why I love it here, I can go into the observatory, with the big telescope, and look at the galaxy with it. But without a working starship, I'll never GO out there to see the stars," she said, her disappointment palpable.

"Wow," he said. "That's...that's a big dream. I don't think you're crazy. I think it's, well, again, amazing. Why do you want this?"

"Not just because I want to SEE the stars, close up, but...we're going to have to go the stars, someday, just like our ancestors did. It's in our DNA. It's what humans do. We explore. We wander. We go to new places, and change them around til they fit us, then we fill it up, tear it down, wear it out, and have to move.

Aivas cut out the one thing that could make the starships go. The anti-matter engines! What in the name of Pern is 'anti-matter'? We don't have the capacity to make such a thing. Can we ever replace the engines? I doubt it. Without an engine, the Yokohama is a ship without sails. Without engines, we're stuck here, on Pern, maybe to end up like the Ancients did on Earth. They left Earth because it was no longer habitable. Will we do the same? Destroy our only home? Aivas seemed to have complete confidence in our ability to avoid Earth's end, but I don't. I'm afraid we'll end up in the very same mess the settlers did. Only this time around, there's no way to escape," she said.

He was astounded at her farsightedness, and discouraged at her pessimism. She was right, of course. He'd felt some of the same things.

"I know. I'm sorry," he said, softly.

She sighed. "I have this big glorious dream. Every night, the stars call me. I know their names, but I'll never get to meet them. Aivas gave us many things, but he took away the biggest thing of all...a way out."