06 August 2019

Chap. 51 Turf war


Chap. 51  Turf war

Siena sat at the conference table with Rondair and Marais.

"We've been friends and classmates since we Impressed. I think of you two as my sisters.
So I think we need to work together, right now, to see the Weyr doesn't fall apart after losing Danelle."

Marais looked at her hands, wondering how often she had twisted them in the last few days.

"I'm scared, Siena. I am not sure what we should do. All of our golds are from the same clutch. I am sure in, let's say the next three months, one …or all of them? are going to rise to mate at the same time. I don't ever want to see a fight between our girls. Not ever.  But the weyr needs a Weyrwoman NOW. Have you ever heard of a couple girls like us taking the job on even BEFORE a mating flight?"

Rondair shook her head. "I don't think I have. I would love to talk to Lessa, see how she managed."

"I'd love to talk to her regardless. But Rondair, we've been trained. By Danelle. She was so good, so patient, especially with me. I felt so stupid when I first started, but she took so much time with me, with us." Marais thought fondly of the deceased Weyrwoman.

"I don't care which of us makes Weyrwoman," Siena said. "No matter which of us makes it, I'll back you up."

"Me, too," the others added in unison.

"So, let's look at the jobs Danelle was doing."  She got up and turned to look at the slate board hanging from a beam in the room. It showed a schedule of the myriad tasks Danelle had been responsible for.

"By the egg, when you look at this you wonder how in the world any Weyrwoman gets ANYTHING done. There's so much," Rondair said, despairing.

"Let's split these three ways, so that everything is covered until our darlings rise to mate," Siena said, "Oh, Danelle, you were so efficient. Just like she taught us, these over here are tasks needing doing every day. All the way over there are tasks needing doing once in a while. So OUR task is to split THESE up, for now. Then, when one of our golds rise, most of these will already done."

The three looked them over, deciding which ones they were ready to take on. Marais, though, was a bit distracted by the concept of her gold mating. With who? She already knew who she DIDN'T want her dragon to mate with, but…the dragons made the decision.

"Who will my Dianath mate with? I hope it's not F'mart's bronze," she groaned. She wanted nothing to do with F'mart.

"Oh, SHARDS no, but don't worry, he's too young. No matter who rises when our girls do, it won't be from his class, they're too young," Rondair reassured her.

"I hope it's not Weyrleader's Corvuth, either. I mean, I love D'nis, but…he's like a father to me. I just can't bring myself to think of me and him…."

"Don't say it. I feel the same way. I can't think of a better Weyrleader, though."

The others nodded.

"Okay, then. Let's harness up and get to work.   I'm going to list three columns from this first bunch and we'll discuss who does what," Siena said.

"Can we switch if…if," Marais asked.

"This is just arbitrary, we can always switch things around," Siena said, "we've worked together as a team for too long to start arguing now. If you don't like the job? Welll, I think the best thing to do is each of us does each of the jobs on a rotating basis. That way, everything's covered, if one of us needs back up and whenever one of us makes Weyrwoman, it's not as if we're brand new to the job."

"She's so busy, especially now, but I think we should get Hariko involved in this, too," Rondair said.

"That's a good idea. Let's discuss this and then, if it's not too late, we can go and talk with Hariko. Besides, I could use a snack."

Jenmay strode into the room, a bundle of her belongings in her arms. She stopped, shocked.

"WHAT are you kids doing here?" she shouted.

The three looked up at her. Siena was the first to react.

"Why, hello, Jenmay. How are you today?" She said it respectfully, but without a hint of friendliness. She could almost smell Jenmay's possessiveness. It was obvious to them all that Jenmay had already taken ownership of the Weyrwoman's office.  

The older woman put down the bundle, very purposefully, atop Siena's slate.

"I ask the questions, girl," she snapped, "What are you three doing here, in the weyrwomans' office?"

"My, but we're testy today. We're talking, is all," Rondair said. Like everyone else, she loathed Jenmay. She'd been the target of the Oldtimer often enough to learn that there was no empathy in the older woman.

"Not here, you're not. You're not supposed to be here."

"Neither are you," Marais, depending on her 'sisters' support, said.

Jenmay's eyes narrowed, making her look like a tunnel snake.

"I was Weyrwoman before I came forward," she said, getting angrier by the moment. These girls were not acting appropriately.

"But you aren't, now. Neither are we. But the weyr needs someone to run things, and we're having a PRIVATE conversation about it," Siena said, relishing the upcoming fight. She'd despised the way Jenmay treated everyone.

"That's why I say you're not supposed to be here. It's MY position, due to experience. Now you little ones, clear out."

"Goodness, I don't remember seeing your old queen rise to mate, in fact, has she EVER?"

"You little snip, how dare you."

"Dare what?"

 Jenmay circled around behind Siena.

"What are you going to do, Jenmay, attack me? From behind? How courageous of you," Siena said, without turning her head. The others watched, warily, waiting.

"Of course not," Jenmay said, backing off. "But Danelle told me that if something happened to her, then I would be Weyrwoman until a gold rises."

"Interesting that Danelle never said a word about that, not to anyone, not even to us, her junior golds and students, who were with her on a daily basis for over a year," Marais said.

"A TURN." Jenmay snapped.

"Even the other day, when we were fighting Thread and she was feeling so sick. I don’t remember seeing YOU out there, though," Rondair said.

"Silly Rondair, Jenmay is 'retired', because she's OLD," Marais corrected.

"Oh, how foolish of me. You're right," Rondair returned, laughing.

"You," Jenmay hissed at Marais, knowing her to be the most timid of the trio, "are too big for your boots, you are."

Marais, feigning amazement, insolently stuck her feet out and pointedly looked at them.

Rondair examined them closely. Shaking her head, she snarked, "I dunno, Jenmay, looks to me like her boots fit just fine." She smirked.

Jenmay went purple.

"You three. Out of here. NOW."

"And where shall we find you?" Siena said, gauging how far to push the old woman.  

"Here, where I belong," Jenmay said.

"You're not Weyrwoman," she said.

"But I have the experience. If I need your help, I shall ask you for it. Now get out."

"When can we expect you to actually BEGIN to do the work?" Siena asked.

Jenmay got into Siena's face. "I can make life very difficult for you. Do not cross me ever again. Do you hear?"

"Like you made it for Danelle?" Siena said, not backing up.

Something flashed in the old woman's eyes…something that looked like fear.

Siena held her stare into Jenmay's eyes for several long seconds. Then, without dropping it, she said, "Come on, gold riders," Siena said to the others, "The Oldtimer is pawing up the muck, like an old cow in her stall. It's getting hard to breathe in here. Let's go talk where we're not interrupting her day."

"You'll pay for that," Jenmay said, furious.

The other two got up and joined Siena. They walked out, all feeling as if at any moment, an arrow would thunk into their spines.

Marais was shaking.

"She's hateful. She's so evil."

Rondair said, "Why did we leave, Siena? It was just getting interesting."

Siena looked perturbed. "I didn't think it worth the fight. Not just yet. There was something there, something…something I FELT from her, something she doesn't want known. But it was so quick…I can't figure it out. And we DO need to talk to Hariko, and Jenmay doesn't DARE run us out of HER domain."




05 August 2019

Chap. 50 Turmoil


Chap. 50  Turmoil


"Sir, you can't blame yourself. It is none of your fault."

The Weyrleader turned reddened eyes to his Master Healer.

"If I'd not left her, left her alone, she'd still be here."

"Nay,sir," Billik said, shaking his head in denial. "She was asleep, finally. She wasn't alone, not for a moment.  The healer who was with her is so grief stricken she can't move. She blames herself, too. It was but a moment, just a brief moment, she turned her back in order to pour more water and Danelle was gone."

"I should have moved us down to the first level. I should have …have tied her to the bed."

The other reached forward, touching the man's shoulders.

"You didn't do that, it would have caused her more pain. And  Elenath wouldn't ever have fit. We put the biggest dragons in the top level precisely because they need that extra space when they launch from the weyr."

"Don't tell me how to lodge a dragon," D'nis snapped, and then immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. It's just…"

"D'nis," the Healer said, softly, "We're all on edge. We're all agonizing, just like you. Everyone is in tears, everyone is distraught. Don't think we healers aren't blaming ourselves, too,'' he said.

D'nis put his head in his hands.

"Do you think you'll be able to find out what killed her? I mean, other than the fall?"

"Unless you want us to do an autopsy, no.  And I would be lying if I said we had the skills to determine it. This was metabolic. All of it. The pain, the blurring of vision, headaches, the disorientation, the loss of balance, the hallucinations.  We'd not be able to find the cause of that. We couldn't have stopped that. I'm certain she got up to check on Elenath, maybe she was hallucinating, or got lost, yes, even in her own weyr, and went over the edge.  Or, it could have been utterly her decision to suicide. It was quick, if nothing else. Same with Elenath. I doubt either of them suffered. At least, they're not suffering anymore."

"No. But we are."

"Aye."

The dragons had finally quit keening. Everyone was numb with shock. It wasn't as if they'd not experienced the death of a dragon rider before, but this way was so…odd. And disastrous. Their queen dragon was gone, as well as their beloved Weyrwoman.

But everyone, too, knew that Danelle had been in pain for some time, as well as had her dragon. Elenath had insisted it was solely out of concern for Danelle. Even so, the dragon healers had remarked on changes in Elenath of which they'd never seen before and with which they had no experience. She'd lost weight for no reason that they could discern.

The first indication was when the dragons in the weyr shrieked in dismay. Elenath had launched and gone between-forever.

Then they found Danelle at the base of the cliff weyrs. She hadn't suffered.

B'rant and the wingleaders stopped at the entrance to D'nis's office, respectfully waiting for permission to enter.  The Healer looked up at them, and nodded.

"Sir, your wing staff is here.  Do you want me to stay with you? Would you like something to um….kill the pain?"

"Nay, Billik, thank you, but I learned a long time ago, drinking to drown one's problems merely forestalls them. Thank you, you needn't stay. Send in my staff."
The healer got up and edged past the wingleaders. They had red eyes. Too.

B'rant sat down across from D'nis.

"Sir, everything has been taken care of. Unless you say otherwise, we're having a memorial tonight."

D'nis raised his head. The sight of his staff, his wingleaders, wasn't comforting so much as it was steadying. He couldn't bear the thought of talking about losing his weyrmate, not this soon, but…the weyr needed it. The Weyr. HIS weyr.

He nodded his head.

04 August 2019

Chap. 49 The bookstore and the shock


Chap. 49  The bookstore and the shock

Elene, the head librarian, had taught K'ndar the basics of accessing a computer. He was glacially slow, typing out each word letter by letter. The computer proved more stupid than Elene had said, forcing him to constantly re-spell or 'backspace'.

"You'll pick it up with practice," she comforted him when he grew exasperated, "You've done quite well, honestly, seeing that you've never done this before."

He realized he'd been at it for longer than he expected. He'd not even been in the rest of the library.

He got up from the chair. "I need to walk around and see the rest!"

"I can show you some more, but I will have to get back to my work in a little while," she said. 

She led him into the few stacks of books.

There were…to him…so many. The spines were unadorned save for a title, and all the book covers were plain, unbleached white in color. The printers had neither the time nor the necessity of differentiating the covers with colors or drawings. That would come. 

"How do you find what you'd like to read?"

"Not today, but the next time you are here, I'll show you how to navigate the stacks. But for the moment, tell me what subject you'd like to read, and I'll steer you to the spot where it's shelved."

He thought, trying to select one topic out of the many that he wanted.

"Um, um, I would like to read a book about the animals, the plants, the fish, the dolphins, the trees, the wild creatures that the colonists brought, that sort of thing here on Pern."

"That would be natural history, a subtopic of biology. Follow me." He followed her, memorizing her path. She stopped in front of a shelf, tilted her head to the right, and after scanning the titles, pulled out a book.

On the cover was the title, "The Natural History of Pern, 2nd edition" by RD Plank, PhD Starfleet Academy

She handed it to K'ndar. He opened it. She sniffed. "Ah, it's been newly printed. I can still smell the ink." 

He riffled through the pages. There were drawings, beautifully rendered, of the life on Pern. Here was a fellis tree. Here were drawings of the original cattle and horses. The horses had not changed but todays cattle had changed quite a bit.  Several pages over were several drawing of trundlebugs. He read the caption. "Trundlebug Volvo anulus  Commonly found on both North and South continents."

The page opposite it had a description of its habitat, feeding habits and the author made a specific mention of the stink it made when attacked.

"Who…who wrote this book?"

She turned it to the frontispiece, the inside front page. 

"See, this page tells you when the book was FIRST published. In this case, it was about twenty years after the colonists landed here at Landing."

The immensity of time hit him. So old, so long ago, the information was a treasure. The Ancients had been so much wiser.

"And the author, the writer, was RD Plank. He was a biologist and an engineer who came here on the Yokohama. I am not sure, but I believe he went all over Pern, cataloging and naming plants and animals. He may even have worked with Kitty Ping, but I don't know that at all."

"Yes, yes, this is precisely what I would like. May I borrow this?"

"Actually, no," she said, "because, if I recall correctly, there were two more copies printed than ordered, so we have two for sale. Would you like to buy one?" she asked, secretly wondering if the dragonman had any money. Most did not. While the library and the printing costs were true costs, still…she wanted him to have the book, but was required to ask for money. However, it was HER library. No matter who was nominally in charge. 

"I have the money! But…." he despaired, "Not with me. I didn't think to bring it with me. And I don't know how much a book costs."

She took the book from him, turning it over. "See, on the back cover, you have this code. The code is scanned into the computer and the computer automatically knows how many copies we have, when it was printed, the subject, and how much it costs. See here? It says 1. That means, 1 mark."

"Are all books that expensive?"

"It depends on the book. This one is probably this much because of the drawings in it are very good, there are a lot of them, and it's a large book that was fairly costly to print. I am sure some of the thinner books, or the less scientific, may be less expensive. Let me see if I can find an example."

She pulled him over to a different section and, after scanning the titles, pulled a thin volume out. 

She handed it to K'ndar.

It was titled "Children's Teaching Poems and Songs." 

He looked at the code and saw 1/64th at the end of the code.

"1/64th of a mark?"

"Precisely!"

He held Natural History of Pern in his hands. He did not want to give it back to her. But he did. 

"I don't have the money with me right now," he said, despairing. What if someone else came in and bought two copies? Then he'd be without it. He wanted to sit in his weyr and absorb it.

She looked him over. She was an excellent judge of character and knew K'ndar was honest and reliable. She could see the hunger in his eyes. This was a man who wanted to inhale every book they had.

"K'ndar, I can see what you are, and what you want out of life." She turned and beckoned him to follow her. He did, to where she had a desk. It was overflowing with books, papers, and flowering plants.

She sat down and pulled out a notebook and a pen. She wrote, "I, K'ndar, promise to pay the Landing Library 1 Mark for the book titled "The Natural History of Pern" within ten days." She wrote down the date, admired her handiwork for a moment…it was the first time she'd ever done this…and turned the notebook for him to read.

She handed the notebook to him. He read it and smiled. "Of course! I can get the money to you within a day or so. I promise." He was about to sign when he saw what he was about to sign.

"WHAT is this?" he asked.

Surprised at his reaction, she said, "It's a promise note. It's your promise to pay me for the book. Is something wrong?"

"No, no, not the note, of course I promise. It want to..I want this…this empty book. Just like this one but without writing in it. This 'pen'?" What is this?"

"Oh, you mean the NOTEBOOK. It's a notebook. You can write anything in it that you want. With the pen, like this one, that has ink in it, or a pencil.  Do you know what a pencil is?"

"I do, Rendel made me use a pencil to sign for the books Rahman lent me for our library at the Weyr.  But I've never seen a pen and I've never seen a notebook and….and…I would like a notebook, please. I want to start writing down things that I see on sweep, I want to make maps, I want to..I've wanted something just like this 'notebook' for a long time and didn't know they existed."

She laughed. So hungry, young man, such a promising young mind. 

"Well, at the moment, you are in luck, because I do happen to have a few blank, not 'empty' notebooks. When the printers print books, they have excess paper left over and rather than waste it, they cut into small, even pages and bind it, and pretty much give them away. I can give you one. The pens are expensive, and they run out of ink quickly, so I think you'd be better off with a pencil." With that, she opened up her magic desk, seemingly filled with wonders, and drew out a notebook and three pencils. "You 'sharpen' the pencils when they get worn down. I am sure you have a knife?"

"I do," he said, only half listening. He turned the notebook over in his hands. So precious, maybe more than the book.

"Something you said a few moments ago…did you say your weyr has a library?"

He looked up at her, tearing his attention from the hundred plans he had for the notebook.

"Yes, ma'am. Rendel is one of our Harpers and he is trying to build a library for the weyr. So far he has the four books Rahman lent to me, two more that I don't know the subject of,  and he has Thread charts, along with what he called 'page music' that harpers use to teach children. He wants to build the library up."

"Rendel is a smart man. Let's make a deal, K'ndar." She lined out the promise note and rewrote it, then turned it around for K'ndar to read.

It said, "I, K'ndar of Kahrain Steppe Weyr do hereby promise to donate "The Natural History of Pern" by DR Plank to the aforesaid weyr library for all to read."

He read it and signed it with the pen. It felt odd in his hand, moving smoothly. How did it work?

He held the book and the notebook close to his chest.

"I promise, I'll have the money to you within ten days."

"No, K'ndar, READ what you signed. I am lending the book to you. Remember, I said we had two extra copies.  When you are finished, you will give it to Rendel for inclusion into your Weyr's library. This is how one builds a library, book by book.  And the notebook and pencils are gifts. From THIS library."

He was much too old for it, but still, tears sprung into his eyes. He wanted to hug her, how in the world could he thank the kindly woman for her generosity?

"Thank you, thank you so much," was all he could say.

"You're welcome, and.." she stopped as she saw his expression change.

K'ndar. Come quick. Corvuth is calling. We need to return to the Weyr RIGHT NOW. I have Siskin with me. Get the harness. Come quick  Raventh was shouting.

What's wrong???? he said, in sudden fear. 

"Is something wrong? Is it something I said?" Elene said.

"No, no…."

It is Elanath. It is Danelle. They are…gone. They are dead

The blood drained from his face.

"I'm sorry. I have to leave right now. My Weyrwoman just died."


03 August 2019

Chap. 48 The computer


Chap. 48  The computer

K'ndar was overwhelmed. He was in Landing's library. Elene, the head librarian, knowing  a bibliophile the moment he walked in, latched onto him.

"We've so many more books, now. The printers have been working hammer and tongs to fill the shelves. Whenever they print a book, they print several copies, two here: one for us, here at library and another in the Harper Hall; Ruatha, and Lemos.  LOOK at what we have, now."

K'ndar was. He felt as if he'd walked into a vault full of  treasures. So many books! So many things to learn about!

"Do they only print four, then?"

"Oh, no. But usually, if they print more, it's for sale."

"Oh."

"How do they know what to print?"

"K'ndar, there is so much, so much that they want to print. There is such a hunger out there, many people want to read books. The problem is, they don't know WHAT they want to read."

"That's ME. I don't know where to start. Rahman sent me four books and I realize that I want more, and more. I want to read about everything, I think. What do people do here? If they want to read about something and there's no book?"

"That's what's nice about Landing. We have power, and thus, computers. And while computers can be a bit…complicated…to learn how to use, once you do, why….well, let me show  you."

She took him by the arm and led him to a desk with one of the lighted boxes on it. "Now watch," she said.

She sat down in front of the computer. In front of her waist was a blank board. She waved her hand over it-K'ndar was beginning to get used to seeing a handwave accomplish many wonderous things-and the 'box',the computer monitor awakened.

The board to it did, too. Letters and numbers appeared as if by magic.

"This is the 'keyboard'. No, there is no key, no lock. I don't know why it's called a keyboard, but I know how to find out. This board sends a message to the computer. You type in the words you want to know about and the computer finds it in the database."

Not bothering to ask what database was, K'ndar watched in fascination.

"Now the nice thing about the computer is, is you can ask it anything and it will have an answer.

For instance, let's ask the computer, where is K'ndar from. Where are you from, K'ndar?"

"I was born in a cothold on the steppe, but now I live at Kahrain Steppe Weyr."

"OK. So I'm going to type, I'm going to ask the computer where is Kahrain Steppe Weyr?"
She touched the keyboard with the question. He understood immediately that she was typing in the question using the letters on the board.

The computer took a moment, then a map of Pern opened on the screen. A bright red star showed the position of the Weyr.

K'ndar was astonished.

"Does it…does it show anything more?"

Elene laughed in delight. She adored opening minds, she loved allowing her library to flex its muscles.

"Watch this, dear lad. Now you must understand that, as intelligent as the computer may seem, it is really quite stupid. You must explain to it in tiny little words what you want. So I will tell the computer, "show Weyr"

She typed in the words and a picture of the weyr, as seen from space, opened on the screen.
K'ndar had never seen a picture in his life.  But there was the weyr, as seen as if from dragonback. He could see the bowl. He could see the colors, the grassy slope alongside the lake, the shadows thrown by the smaller buildings.

"Want a closer look?" she asked, and without prompting, asked the computer to zoom in.

The view zoomed in. One could see dragons in the dragon lake, even people walking about.

"Can you move it around?"

"I can. Is there something you want to see specifically?"

"I live in a beach weyr."

Elene, chortled. She knew she had him hooked. She typed in 'Kahrain Steppe Weyr beach weyrs'.

And there they were. There were ten of them. K'ndar saw his, the one at the far end.

"This is a 'live' view, by the way. Live meaning, what you are seeing is happening right now."

"How………."

"The computer talks to the Yokohama. Remember, the starship was the first to see the fireball.

Those eyes in the sky are still open. The starship can see everywhere on Pern. And so the computer can see it, too."

He shook his head. If the concept was confusing, the execution was mind blowing.

"Do you have to know a name, does a place have to have a name?"

"Um…what do you mean?"

"Could I see, for instance, what my family cothold looks like?"

"Certainly! You move this little pointer there on the screen on the map. Point to me where your cothold is."

"It's too…too close,"

"Oh, yes, pardon me." She zoomed out.

He watched, knowing his cothold's position by heart. He looked for the small river that tumbled from the foothills into the cothold's pastures. The cothold was nestled in a small valley in the foothills of the southern edge of the Southern Range. It looked out upon hundreds of kilometers of steppe.

He looked hard, and saw the river. He pointed at it. Elene zoomed in. She searched and found a small cluster of stone buildings surrounded by rock walls. She zoomed in closer.

"Is it the only one in this area?" she asked.

He nodded. The next closest cothold was twelve kilometers further east.

She zoomed in on the cluster. It took K'ndar a moment to recognize the configuration of buildings-and there was his cothold.

His jaw dropped.

"That's it." He could not stop shaking his head in amazement.

"It's remote, looks like."

"Aye, ma'am, it is but it's beautiful."

"Now, before we go any further, there's two more things you might want to know about the computer. Just because we don't have the books printed, there's a library as big as Pern in the computer. So, you don't have to confine yourself to just reading books we have printed. You can read them…ON THE COMPUTER."

"And," she continued, "you can ask it whatever you want. Any question."

"Any?"

"Any."

He thought. Not for long.

"OK. Ask it, "Who is McDuff?"

The screen blinked and showed:

Lord Macduff, the Thane of Fife, is a character in William Shakespeare's Macbeth (c.1603–1607 Earth Years). Macduff plays a pivotal role in the play: he suspects Macbeth of regicide and eventually kills Macbeth in the final act. He can be seen as the avenging hero who helps save Scotland from Macbeth's tyranny in the play.
Further link:  see: Macbeth, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.

"Wow." It told him something, but not much.

"You can see the problem here, can't you, K'ndar?"

He looked at her quizzically.

"Meaning?"

"Think it through, my dear, think it through."

"Well, I can see that in my mind I misspelled MacDuff. But what is a thane, where is Fife, who is William Shakespeare? What is Macbeth, those years are ours, no wait it says Earth years, what does regicide mean and…"

Elene burst into peals of laughter.

"PRECISELY my point, K'ndar. Once you open your mind, it never stops wanting to know more."

He wanted to know more. He wanted to know more NOW.

Then he remembered there was no computer at the Weyr.

He deflated, visibly.

"What's wrong, K'ndar?"

"We don't have a computer at the Weyr."

"So?"

"So. I can't read the computer."

"Um…do you have a dragon, by any chance?"

He looked at her with what could only be described as mortification.

"Anytime you want, you can come here. Bring your friends. Anytime you want, you can access the computer, you can read the books on it or the ones on our shelves. It's what Aivas wanted. It's what Pern needs. Young minds…and old, like mine! can always learn. Someday every hold, every weyr, every hall, will have computers…and libraries. But for now, you, my dear lad, are so lucky in that you have a dragon to bring you here, anytime you like. All you need do is ask."

His future brightened. So much, so much and finally a way to learn!

"I can see, ma'am, that I will be spending a great deal of my free time here," he said.

"That's my lad."