21 July 2019

Chap. 33 Gift Horse


Chap 33 Gift horse
                          
The drudge sought out his supervisor, Nyala.

"There is a girl in one of the horse pens, crying. She is a visitor, for graduation or maybe the Gather," he said.

Nyala, the Masterherder, followed the man to the far end of the barn.

Glyena, K'ndar's sister, was sitting in the corner of the open stall, with four horses around her, the closest being a small refined grey.

"I told you to leave me alone! Don't make me tell you again!" she cried, when she saw the man.

"You're the young girl who was-and continues to be-rude to my staff," Nyala said, recognizing her immediately.

Glyena said, "I’m not being rude. I just want him to leave me alone."

Nyala, always a good judge of character, held back her immediate reaction. Spoiled brat? No. Like an abused horse, this was something deep, something defensive.

"You're Glyena, right?"

"Maybe," Glyena said, "But I don't want to be."


"Okay, Miss Maybe, still, you have no right to be rude to my staff, or, for that matter, anyone here at the weyr. As a matter of fact, I don't recall you asking permission to enter MY barn. Nor do you have the right to admonish MY employees. You can see your horses are being well cared for. You are a guest of the weyr who has no right to order my people to do anything. Your behavior is uncalled for and unladylike."

"I'm not a lady." Glyena scowled.

"True. Right now you're being a brat," Nyala punched.

Glyena started to sob. "Just leave me alone!" she shrieked, causing the horses to throw their heads up in alarm.

 Nyala whispered in the man's ear, "Go to the beach weyrs and find K'ndar. Brown dragon." He left.

She knelt down to look more closely into the girl's face. She could see the tracks of Glyena's tears but could also see they were not those of physical pain.

"Do you want to tell me why you are crying?"

"I  can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know why. I mean, I don't know how to say why and anyway it's wrong."

"Huh. It's wrong?? Just say it, and maybe I can figure it out."

Glyena hiccupped and wiped her face.

"It's wrong because I don't want to go back home, and I don't know what to do, so that's why I can't say it because I can't tell anyone."

"Is it bad at home?"

Glyena nodded.

"Is it, like really bad? Are you beaten? Your mom and uncle and brother seem to be very nice."

"NO! It's not them!! I love my mum, and Fland and Kandar and Mardriss and his wife. It's…it's my dad. He's…he's mean. He makes me angry. He never is nice. When he talks he calls me bad names, like wherface and stupid. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how good you are, he is still hateful and mean. He used to beat my mum and my brothers and he's just a bad, bad man. He is mean to everyone, the animals are afraid of him, I hate him. THERE. I said it I HATE him and I don't want to ever see him again. I want to stay here. There are girls and boys to play with here, and nice people…like you…"

She met Nyala's eyes for the first time.

"Seems to me the first time we met, you resisted very much having to apologize to me. Or my staff."

"They don't know how to take care of our horses. They're DRUDGES."


K'ndar's voice interrupted them.

"Glyena, are you causing problems again?" He was upset. She was back here, being a problem to Nyala and the barn hands. This was his father's influence on a little girl, turning her from a sweet girl into…her father's replica.

The girl stood up. She put her hands on her hips and scowled, looking exactly like their father, Hanliss. 

"NO. I'm just making sure they are treating Jordan right."

Damn his father. Damn him. Look what he's done to my sister, he thought. He wanted to burn out that part of Hanliss that she'd absorbed, turning it into a shield to protect her soul against him. He knew it. Everyone in the family had grown that hardness.
  
He'd done it himself. He suddenly realized that living at the weyr had melted it.
If he could lose it, so might she.  With the help of a horse…or a dragon. He hated seeing the man in his sister's eyes. Properly channeled, that strength of will would probably serve her well in later life, but for now it was pure bully-and she was too young, still a child, to have that hardness.

K'ndar took Glyena's chin in hand, somehow understanding how that motion would be interpreted by the girl as utterly important. He was gently insisting that she meet and hold on to his eyes. Once he had her eyes, he released it. He did NOT kneel down to her level.

"Glyena. You are being a bully. You treated this man badly. You wouldn't do that to a horse, would you? A kitten? A lamb?"

"No!! Never!" she cried, aghast at the concept.

"That extends to people, too, Glyena.  No one, not a drudge, not a hired hand, not even someone who cleans the latrine…like ME…deserves to be treated with anything but kindness and respect."

"You cleaned the latrine? Only drudges do that! You're a dragonrider!"

"Even dragonriders are punished when they break a rule or are mean. The Weyrlingmaster punished me by making me clean the latrine. I learned my lesson.
You are breaking our society's rules.  You were being mean to these people. You were being just like dad." 

Her eyes flew open in shock and dismay. "No! I'm not!"

"But you are. See how much it hurts to be like him? Just like it hurt me. And everyone else in our cothold."

He wondered, if he managed to break that shell, what use would it be? She would have to go back to the cothold, back to Hanliss. Would it be better to allow her that protection until she was old enough to leave? But no. It was not right, and she had to learn. Like with any horse, the pivotal moment, that training moment was right here, right now, and saving it for later would be useless.

"Dad breaks the rules, he's mean all the time and no one punishes him!!' she argued.

K'ndar pounced. "Really? Where did the stroke come from, then?"

Shocked, she froze, slack jawed.

There was silence for several uncomfortable moments.

"See?" he said, softly, 'all that mean, it turned on him, like a tunnel snake. He did it to himself and now he's being punished. By himself. You don’t want to be that way, do you?"

She shook her head.

Nyala knelt to look Glyena in the eye. "I bet this handsome grey is Jordan, right?"

Glyena's face lit up.

"He IS! When Kandar left no one was riding him and he likes to work and so I started riding him, we go bareback and he's the fastest horse ever and he does tricks and I fell off him and he didn't run off just waited for me to get back on and," she stopped, out of breath, her face red.

Nyala added, "And you're afraid K'ndar is going to take him away from you now. So you boss my people around, trying to impress everyone, even K'ndar, on how well you've cared for him, maybe better than K'ndar ever could or had, and how much you DON'T want to lose Jordan. Because your father makes you think that no one could love you and the only one who does is Jordan. Right?

The girl began to sob. K'ndar was amazed at Nyala's perception, and at his own feelings of possessiveness. He'd missed Jordan, of course, but now, maturity and common sense told him  he could never give Jordan the time he used to. He was a dragon rider, now.

The defiance was gone from the girl's posture.

Ah. It was the training moment. Nyala had nailed it. Maybe this would be the right step.

"Glyena! Look at me," he demanded. "Stop crying."

She obeyed, wiping her face and taking a few deep breaths.

"I love Jordan and I see how well you've cared for him. I knew that I didn't have to worry about him because of you. That helped me a lot with my training here."

He looked at the refined grey. So much like Raventh in a way…but it was a dragon that  occupied that very large portion of his heart that had once been Jordan's.
Jordan deserved the love and undivided attention that he now gave solely to his dragon.

Jordan would understand.

A surprisingly large part of his heart broke with his next words, but he knew, too, that that part would heal.

"Glyena, you need to make a decision. If you promise me-PROMISE me, here and now in front of these witnesses-to include Jordan!  that you will always treat EVERYONE with kindness and respect, I will give Jordan to you. Forever."

Glyena gulped away her tears.  Her emotions and her will warred for a moment. Pride or possession, which was more important? Jordan chose that moment to snuffle her hair. Shards to pride. She wanted the horse.  


She nodded. She extended her left fist, pinky finger in a hook. K'ndar linked his left pinky finger with hers.  He said, "No more bullying. Kindess and respect for everyone."

 She placed her right hand on her heart and said, "I promise. No more bullying.  Respect for everyone. Kindness to everyone. Forever."

He placed his right hand on his heart, saying "Jordan, witness this. Glyena makes this promise. Glyena, in front of these people, I give Jordan to you. Forever." They bumped their still linked fists together. Their hands separated.

She smiled in relief. Then…to everyone's heartbreak and surprise, she turned to the drudge, extended her pinky, replaced her hand on her heart and said, "I am sorry I was mean to you. I promise to respect you and everyone. Forever."

It was obvious that she meant every word.

Tears sprang into EVERYONE's eyes. The drudge, extended his huge, callused hand with a giant pinky out. It engulfed the girls'. In a voice of gravel, he said, "Your apology and promise is accepted."